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The (Filthy) Talk of the Town: Ohio is Full of $H!T Talkers

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Apparently, Ohioans have the dirtiest mouths in all the land, according to a recent data research study conducted by the Marchex Institute. Washingtonians (allegedly) cursed the least. You may have already seen the news pop up all over your Facebook feed. Naturally, my immediate reaction was, “WTF?!?!?!”

The Ohio $#!T talking didn’t stop there.

Marchex’s data and research team examined more than 600,000 phone calls within the past 12 months. The calls monitored were made by consumers to businesses across 30 industries, including cable and satellite companies, car dealerships, pest control centers and more.
Marchex scanned for every curse word under the sun – from A to F to S – and I’m sure you can fill in the blanks on this one. Especially if you’re reading from an electronic device somewhere in Ohio.

Ohioans also received “honors” in the Top 5 Least Courteous category. Apparently, we have a harder time saying “please” and “thank you,” which were the keywords that Marchex’s “Call Mining” technology scanned for when collecting data on manners and pleasantries.

Interestingly enough, the newly released data coincides with National Etiquette Week, a seven-day reminder to be civil and courteous to one another. I wonder if Ohioans watching their tongues and minding their manners in observance of the week’s festivities are having a harder time than others. Maybe that’s why I was cut off and honked at during my 45-minute commute this morning…I’ll blame it on the Buckeyes.

Ohio was then put into the “Sailors” category, while states like Washington, Massachusetts, Arizona, Texas and Virginia were deemed “Goody Two Shoes” states. Luckily, Ohioans aren’t the only “sailors” in America…As the old saying goes, “dirt and filth loves company,” right…? Right. Anyway, ranking behind Ohio in the sailors category – states where people are most likely to curse – were Maryland, New Jersey, Louisiana, and Illinois. So if you’re looking to migrate out of Ohio (like so many of are), you’ll probably get less dirty looks for mouthing off in those states.
Ohioans curse more than twice the rate of Washingtonians, according to the data. Washingtonians curse about every 300 conversations. Ohioans, on the other hand, swore about every 150 conversations.

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Other fun (filthy) facts include: 66% of curses come from men, calls that containing the most cursing were more than 10 minutes long, and calls in the morning were twice as likely to produce cursing as calls in the afternoon or evening.

Marchex also aggregated state-by-state data on who says “please” and “thank you” the most. The Top 5 Most Courteous states were: South Carolina, North Carolina, Maryland, Louisiana and Georgia. Southern hospitality, anyone? I have vivid memories of one of my high school teachers swearing up and down that there was more Midwestern hospitality than Southern hospitality. Guess she was wrong about that one. Big time.

Ohio was the only state to find itself in the “Sailor” and “Least Courteous” categories.

To be honest, I don’t really mind being among sailors. Am I surprised that Ohioians topped the charts for having the dirtiest mouths? Sure. But maybe I shouldn’t be. Ever since middle school, the mouths around me got dirtier and dirtier. And so did mine. I distinctly remember having a line in my Myspace profile proclaiming that I “swore like a sailor.” And it only worsened as time went on: by the time I got my first newspaper job in college, I’m pretty sure every other word out of my mouth was four letters long. I’ll just blame that on the Buckeyes, too.

I mean…I really don’t mind being a “sailor,” but maybe that’s just because I’ve been surrounded by them my entire life. Let’s just say Ohioans are simply transparent, passionate people. Maybe we do curse a little more and maybe not every Ohioan minds their manners as much they could. Whatever. At least we know how we feel and aren’t afraid to express it…by any means necessary. As Joan Jett once said, “I don’t give a damn about my bad reputation.”

If you’re an Ohioan, how do you feel about these findings? Does Ohio belong in the “Sailor” category or do you still believe in Midwestern hospitality? Sound off in the comments section below — whether or not you keep it clean is your prerogative, but if you’re a Buckeye, the odds seem to be against you on this one.

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